Forces widow dedicates her wedding to the charity that offered her children a lifeline after the death of their dad
“Scotty’s has always been there, every birthday, anniversary, Remembrance Day, they make the children feel like they are not alone.”
Forces widow and mother of two, Rachel Murphy, from Thornbury in Gloucestershire, is dedicating her wedding this weekend to a charity that holds a special place in her heart.
Rachel and Martin
When Rachel (46) and Martin Smith (50) tie the knot on Saturday (19th June), the Scotty’s Little Soldiers flag will be flown at the local village church and the couple, who met in 2013, will be asking their guests to make a donation to the charity, instead of buying them gifts. Scotty’s Little Soldiers has offered Rachel’s children, Steven and Emily, integral support following the death of their dad, Lance Corporal John Murphy in 2007.
Steven and Emily were just three and two years old when their dad died. Lance Corporal Murphy, who served for 16 years with the Royal Army Veterinary Corps, took his own life on 7th January 2007.
Over the years, the brother and sister who are now 18 and 16 years old, have struggled to come to terms with their dad’s death which as they’ve grown up has had a dramatic impact on their lives, most notably on Steven, who has had to battle his own mental health problems.
Lance Corporal John Murphy and Steven
Since 2011, one constant in their lives has been Scotty’s Little Soldiers. The charity has been there to offer them support at times when they’ve needed it the most. Scotty’s, which was set up in 2010 by war widow, Nikki Scott, supports hundreds of children and young people across the UK who have experienced the death of a parent who served in the Armed Forces.
Nikki saw the devastating impact the death of her husband, Corporal Lee Scott, in 2009 had on their two young children and wanted to help others in the same situation.
Steven and Emily were seven and five years old when they joined the charity and since then have received an unrivalled level of support. To say thank you, and to give back, Rachel and Martin want Scotty’s to be part of their day. As well as donations being made to the charity and the Scotty’s flag being flown, their photographer will be a former Scotty member, Beth Wood.
Rachel said:
“Scotty’s is such a big part of our lives that we wanted to have them as part of our wedding. We have everything we want in life; we have love, and we have each other. We don’t need any wedding presents, so we’ve asked our guests to make a donation to Scotty’s instead.
“Having Scotty’s as part of the day means a lot to Steven and Emily and reassures them that although I’m getting married it doesn’t mean their dad will be forgotten.”
Scotty’s is currently providing assistance to hundreds of bereaved Forces children and young people around the UK and services offered include guidance to parents and carers, access to professional child bereavement support, personal education and learning assistance (including grants) and fun activities such as holiday respite breaks and group events. These are all designed to remind the children and young people supported by Scotty’s that they are not alone.
Rachel said:
“Scotty’s has always been there, every birthday, anniversary, Remembrance Day, they make the children feel like they are not alone. Over the years the charity has been incredible with providing emotional well-being support to Steven, who as a teenager really struggled with his mental health and in coming to terms with why his dad did what he did. We wouldn’t have got through this dark period without Scotty’s.
“Martin just “gets it” and has been a huge help in supporting me and the children through our grief. He has also seen how much Scotty’s has helped us through the years and because of his job as an Army PTI, he understands and can see what a difference their support makes.”
Rachel, Martin, Steven and Emily
John Murphy will also be part of the special day as Steven and Emily will honour their dad by wearing his medals.
Rachel added:
“As it’s a Forces wedding, to pay tribute to their dad on the day, we’ve invited Steven and Emily to wear their dad’s medals which means a lot to them. They both know how much Martin means to me and know that marrying him will make me happy.”
Scotty’s founder Nikki Scott said:
“Over the years, I’ve got to know Rachel and Martin so well and I’m incredibly grateful that they’ve decided to dedicate their special day to raising much needed funds for Scotty’s. I wish them every happiness. The family have been through so much, and I know how supportive Martin has been and how Steven and Emily have welcomed him into the family. Rachel and Martin know how important our work is and how vital it is that we continue to raise funds to help children and young people, like Steven and Emily, through challenging times. Experiencing the death of a parent at such a young age is devastating and can have a huge impact. Our job to ensure that we’re there to offer support at difficult times and to reassure our members that they are not alone.”
