“When George receives a gift from Scotty’s it always triggers a conversation about his daddy and highlights the happy memories.”
No one wants to feel forgotten. But, for many bereaved Forces children, this is the unfortunate reality. At Scotty’s Little Soldiers, we make sure every one of our members know they’re not alone, that their parent is remembered, and that we’re here to support them whenever they need us.
One way we do this is Scotty’s gifts and vouchers.
George holding a photo montage of his dad.
“It’s about showing these children and young people they’ve not been forgotten; that people remember and they care,” says the charity’s founder, Nikki, who set up Scotty’s Little Soldiers in 2010 after seeing the devasting effect the death of her husband, Corporal Lee Scott, had on their two young children. “When Lee died, I saw first-hand the difference it made to birthdays, holidays, all those special times of year when you’d really miss having a parent to give you a present.”
Christmas can be particularly hard, with many children finding the emphasis on family around this time difficult to deal with.
“You’ve got that empty space at the table. It can make you feel alone. But when you get that gift from Scotty’s it’s a reminder you’re not. Seven or eight years in, people might have stopped talking as much about your parent, but you’ll still be receiving those gifts. You know someone is still thinking about you and thinking about them.”
Scotty's founder, Nikki, with her children, Brooke and Kai.
“We are all so incredibly grateful for Scotty’s,” says Emylie, whose husband, Captain Tomasz Jennings, died in Afghanistan in 2011 when the vehicle he was travelling in hit a landmine. “Christmas is always a time of mixed emotions as we mark the anniversary of Tom’s death and then a few days later it’s Christmas Day. But Scotty’s has given the boys something to smile about at Christmas. They get so excited when they see the Scotty’s logo and it helps reassure them that it’s okay to laugh and be happy. That there are people out there who remember them and remember their dad.”
Each gift is bought specifically for the child it is given to. These are not identical, pre-wrapped presents bought in bulk. They’re real gifts from real people.
“Every 18-months we send a ‘getting to know you better’ questionnaire to our members,” Nikki explains. “It’s all fun stuff. What are your favourite shops? Where do you like to eat? What’s your favourite TV show? What bands do you like? That kind of thing. We then use these to decide what gifts to buy.”
Emylie and her two boys, Oliver and Christopher, at a Scotty's event.
"Thank you so much Scotty's Little Soldiers, you read his mind!” says Alannah Welsh, talking about her son, Harper. “He has been asking for a West Ham ball for so long! As always, you help Harper to feel part of a huge family of people who know him, his story and his triumphs in life."
In addition to sending presents on special occasions, we also provide our members with a variety of vouchers. These are generally sent around Remembrance Day and the anniversary of their parent’s death, when they may be feeling understandably emotional.
“With every voucher is a compliment slip letting the family know we’re thinking about them,” says Nikki. “It’s another little way of showing the children and young people we support that they’re remembered and part of a wider community who understand what they’re going through.”
Harper holding a West Ham ball on his tenth birthday.
“Scotty’s has been a lifeline,” says Amy Lawrence, whose husband, Trooper Phillip Lawrence, died in Afghanistan in 2009 after his convoy was struck by an IED. “We’ve been made to feel part of such a special group, a family, that not many people get to be part of. The main thing for me is knowing that Jess isn’t alone or forgotten. She has received so much support from Scotty’s over the years, from holidays away to birthday presents and vouchers on anniversaries. With Scotty’s you know there’s a whole group of people who know exactly how you feel and will support you the best they can.”
For many of our members, Scotty’s is also their main link to the military, and by continuing to send gifts and vouchers it can help them feel part of a community they may otherwise be disconnected from.
Jess taking part in a Scotty Challenge.
Nikki explains: “Bereaved children often feel isolated and on their own. This is especially true of bereaved Forces children, as they could lose their connection to the military community that, up until that point, has defined so much of their life. Particularly if they’re based around a garrison and have to move away. But by sending these gifts and these vouchers and getting them in touch with other children and young people like them, they’re able to keep hold of that community.”
“When George receives a gift from Scotty’s it always triggers a conversation about his daddy and highlights the happy memories,” says Emma Hendrie, whose husband, RAF Flight Lieutenant Tom Hendrie, died of cancer in 2018. “No child should be put in the position Scotty’s members are, but I am so happy we have Scotty’s in our lives. George and I know we are not alone and that others are experiencing the same thing we are. They are always on hand to help, advise or just listen.”
Young George sitting on his dad's shoulders.
Scotty’s Little Soldiers offers integral support to children and young people aged 0-25 who have experienced the death of a parent who served in the British Armed Forces. The charity aids hundreds of bereaved Forces children and young people around the UK, offering services such as guidance to parents and carers, access to professional child bereavement support, personal education and learning assistance (including grants) and fun activities such as holiday respite breaks and group events. These are all designed to remind those supported by Scotty’s that they are not alone.
